009. ZEV

As I write this entry, Zev is missing.  She got out last night and we haven't been able to find her all day.  Chances are, she's just moping around somewhere and will come back when she's ready.  But I have a sick feeling in my stomach that someone has hurt her or she's been attacked or something...  It overwhelms me.  And makes me feel just sick inside.

If something has befallen her and she's gone, I will lose one of the most precious beings in my life.  And there's no way I can ever come to grips with that.

Zev came to me in North Carolina.  This girl I worked with, Kendra, had a cat named Midnight.  As much as I was appalled by the way Kendra took care of her cat, I was grateful to get Zev.  Midnight was having litter after litter of kittens.  Kendra would not get her fixed.

Shortly after she arrived, Zev was pregnant but after she had her litter, we got her fixed.

I could go on and on about Zev and experiences I had with her.  She was always near me and when I was sick or sad, she was there comforting me.  She'd cuddle next to me and lick my forehead when I was sick until I could fall asleep.  When I was sad, she would tuck her head under my chin and rub while she purred softly.  It was her way of saying, "You're loved"; and it always made me feel better.

She was so possessive of me and wanted to be near me so much it was often annoying.  I'd get mad and move her out of the way, but the truth is I secretly loved the attention.

Zev was Gizsch and Zyeet's mom.  I can't imagine life without her.  It's tearing me up being at work while Zev is missing.  I'm blubbering like a baby and I have no one to turn to.  That's not true.  I have God.  And all day I've sent out little prayers hoping he would turn her towards home.

She's more than a pet to me.  She's like my own child.  And I'm horrified I may never see her again.  No matter what, I will love her always.  I hope she's had a good life and knows how much she was loved and wanted.  Every day of her life.

This is an update...  I found Zev the other night.  Kaison is still missing and I'm worried sick about him.  But Zev is home.  I really believe God was at work.  I was sitting on the stairs, thinking about her and I stood up, went out the door and started walking.  I walked in a virtual straight line to Zev.  When I saw a dark shape on a block wall, I said, "Zev" and she answered back.  There was no turning, no random searching...  Just a steady pace to the spot where she was located.  She came straight to me, climbed up in my arms and seems to be relieved her ordeal is over.  I know animals can learn from behavior and I hope Zev has learned a lesson.  You'd think Kaison would've after getting lost last time.  It almost seems like I'm overdoing it asking God to help him come home.

January 06, 2014...  Update:  It's Monday.  Two nights ago, Zev passed away.  She's been sick this past little while and I was giving her medication every day.  She never seemed to get better, but she stopped getting worse.  She kinda leveled out.  The Vet told me it was a matter of time, but I didn't know how much.  She mewed very softly at me and I bundled her up and cuddled with her til the end.  I petted her gently until she passed away in my arms.

I feel so awful right now.  I miss her so much.  As annoying as she could be, she was still my Zevers and my heart is broken.  I will never forget you or stop loving you, baby Zev.  Goodbye

Zev is a reason for being