Anyone who knows me knows about Corbin. He's my sister Robin's middle child. Right smack in the middle. Just like she is in our family line-up.
I used to tease Robin by telling her she'd have to have babies for me someday. In a way, she has. I'm close to all her children. Her oldest boy, Ethan, is one of my closest friends. Corbin is a different story. Not because he's any different from the rest of them, but because of what he brought out in me.
Corbin was born when Robin and Craig were moving to St. George, UT. They actually delayed the date they took up residence in their new house until he came home from the hospital. Craig was still working in Las Vegas and he commuted every week. I spent a lot of time helping Robin because we're so close and she needed me.
It's not surprising that Corbin took to me as a father figure. I was a surrogate dad for him those first couple years while Craig was transitioning to St. George.
Let me say up front, I love all my nieces and nephews! I don't like to take favorites. Although everyone knows Corbin is special to me it's not because I picked him. He picked me. For some reason, he latched onto me and wanted to be where I was. If I was in the room, he wanted to be with me. If we were going someplace, he wanted me to hold him.
One extreme example of this was a night when Corbin was really sick. He'd cried all day and Robin was completely worn out. He wouldn't stop crying no matter what she did. She called me about midnight in tears and asked me to come hold him long enough for her to get a couple hours sleep. When I got there, Corbin crawled up in my arms and was asleep before I even started rocking him.
That degree of trust and dependency... It brought out my own feelings of fatherhood and wanting to be a dad. I've always wanted a son or daughter. Corbin brings those impulses out in me strongly. So that's why he's impacted my life so greatly.
He's an interesting kid. He sees the world in an almost cutthroat way. He's always been drawn to predators. His first fascination was dinosaurs. But he only liked the carnivores. Then he moved on to sharks, snakes... He's gone through a pirate phase and is currently into Star Wars. Still, it's the characters he fixates on. He seems to choose the ones who dominate or prey on the weak.
I think he sees the world as a competitive place and I suspect he'll do just fine in it. He has a strong sense of self and a healthy ego.
If I had to say who I want to be in his life, I'd say I want to be someone Corbin can rely on. I want him to know he is safe with me. I'll be there when he needs me and he's not alone in the world. I think that's an important thing for kids to have a strong sense of security.
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